I am the MVP (of what?)

In case you have been living under a rock for the past month or so, this may come as news to you: in the most over-blown, over-hyped event in recent memory (and with Balloon Boy and the inexplicable case of Bieber-Mania afflicting any girl under the age of 16, that's saying something...) - LeBron James took the money and ran to Miami to play with his best friends in the sandbox.

That's all right, it's not like I was saving up for season tickets for the Bulls anyway if he did come here.  For whatever reason, the NBA seems like it is the most out-of-touch and irrelevant sports league - not that any sport features 6-foot, skinny, Asian guys like me as their star athletes.  (Well, maybe the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest - but we saw how well that turned out this year...)

Got me to start thinking: in what Bizarro-World realms would I be considered a top free-agent?

And I'm not talking about my mundane traits like: folding and re-folding my t-shirts until they are perfectly in alignment (despite never having worked at the Gap), meticulously adding up the cost of each and every item we buy at the grocery store (you have no idea how the price of sour cream fluctuates each week), and re-arranging the cups and plates in the dishwasher to pack the most in.  (Geez, these borderline OCD examples are not very flattering, are they?  I must be the second long-lost brother of Adrian Monk...)

Hmmm...let me stew on this for a while, and I'll get back to you...

In the immortal words of Sammy Sosa - "I Apologi"

As much as this pains me - and it pains me greatly - I guess I owe you all an apology.

In the past, I have made snide remarks, ribald jokes, and even horrible anthropomorphic insults about you.  I even love the website that promotes the elimination of "those who think that their excuses for wearing them are viable".

Yes, I am talking about you, Crocs Nation.

However, I bought my first pair this week and I now have to say, "Where have these Crocs been all my life?"

(I will admit I only even considered them since they were on mega-sale - the Crocs.com Outlet always has deals up to 50%-75% off and free shipping, sometimes...)

They are the most comfortable shoes I have, fashion be damned.  I made my first test run in public to SuperTarget on Sunday, and not only did no one make fun of me - there were entire families that wore them.
So, now it's open season - I'm wearing them to school, weddings, and future trips around the world (maybe I'll stock up before I leave and pass them out to the indigenous tribal people as a sign of American goodwill).

Now, I am saving up to buy even more Crocs (goodbye, Apple Ipad and Bentley convertible) - they have ones that are faux-fur lined (for when you want to wear thin plastic shoes with holes in the dead of Chicago winter), ones that look like Chuck Taylor sneakers (not really, but...), and ones made with non-plastic materials (like leather, suede - who knew?).

The old saying goes something like 'before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes' - although I have not made a full mile yet, you'll never hear another disparaging word from me, fellow Croc-o-philes.

But, you Uggs people - you're still fair game.

Toodeloo to the Taste

Well, we decided yesterday not to continue our yearly tradition (no, not that one - get your mind out of the gutter...) - we're going to skip the Taste of Chicago.  I am surprised, frankly, that we have gone as long as we have.  Actually, we have mostly only gone when there was a band we liked - Midnight Oil, They Might Be Giants (sometimes, you gotta take one for the team).  I don't remember much about the concerts, though, except baking in the sun and being a couple of miles away from the stage.


I suppose it's like going to Wrigley Field for a game - it's wicked expensive, you have to constantly maneuver through huge crowds of drunk people, and you know how it's inevitably going to end - either with a Cubs' loss or stumbling around feeling sick after one piece of Chocolate Chip Cheesecake too many.


And despite the wide variety of exciting food from around world, we end up getting the same, rather mundane, things every year.  No oxtail or grilled Anjou pear salad for me - it's always Lou Malnati's, Robinson's Ribs, and Eli's Cheesecake for me.  (Although, I understand they have funnel cakes and churros this year.  I'm a huge fan of fried dough in any form...)


By comparison, we went and bought a whole Lou Malnati's pizza and baked it at our (air-conditioned) home - it only cost $10.50, which is less than just the round-trip Metra fare for the two of us.  


There are actually a few 'must-do' things to do in Chicago that probably sound better than they really are.
We used to go to the L.A.T.E. Ride (the all-night bike ride along the Lakefront), but having my wife almost get wrecked onto Lake Shore Drive, and going to sleep now when the sun sets - this is an event best left for the kids and those people with rear-view mirrors on their bike helmets.
Never been to Lollapalooza - there are a number of neat indie bands, but if I can't stand being in the heat for a few hours at the Taste, after being outside for three days straight, I would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.


Maybe I'm just becoming a fuddy-duddy..."it's too expensive and inconvenient to go downtown", "we get back much later than my bedtime", "nothing good ever happens after 9 PM"...


Ah, well - just give me my Netflix and a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry's and I'm good for the rest of the weekend.